Have you ever thought about why you overthink?
Of course you have. You’re an over-thinker. And you’re not alone.
My name is Amy, and I’m a recovering over-thinker prone to spiraling into the abyss of over-analysis.
Behind my cheery and optimistic nature, there is a constant tug-of-war. For as decisive as I am, there is doubt. For every action, there is anxiety. For as forthcoming as I am, there is fear.
But you can learn to not let any of this stop you from living the life of your dreams.
“Feel the fear and do it anyway.” — Susan Jeffers
When Thinking Gets Dangerous
The ability to analyze is a great skill. It’s when it tips into over analyzing that it harms us. When we use our analytical skills to assess our situations and then make a choice, that’s our brain doing its job. Otherwise who knows what trouble we’d find ourselves in.
But when we start to question every choice and then do nothing, that’s problematic. Because talking and thinking about a problem does not change the problem or make the problem go away.
Only one thing can make the problem go away.
The Four Horseman of Overthinking
There are four things driving us to be over-thinkers:
Anxiety
Uncertainty
Perfectionism
Fear
Anxiety
Anxiety goes hand-in-hand with overthinking and over-analyzing.
If it were possible to think your way out anxiety, trust me, I would have found it. I would have a therapeutic method named after me by now. I would make it my mission to change the world by thinking if it were possible.
Buddy, it ain’t possible.
Uncertainty
Why do you think the number one fear is public speaking? It’s not the speaking that’s the problem, it’s the uncertainty. Will they like it? Will they like me? Even as I write this, I’m feeling that fear.
We fear uncertainty more than we fear death.
We’re a tribal species and no one wants to be cast out. We’re certain of that. And we’re uncertain if our actions could cause us to be cast out because then we’d be in real trouble. So we overthink and over-analyze and sit tight and hope that no one notices us.
Perfectionism
How many times have you delayed sharing your work because it “wasn’t ready?” How many times have you said “I need more time” on something? How many times have you thought, “I can’t send this out until it’s perfect?”
Perfectionism is a beautiful trap.
And we all fall for it.
It’s impossible to be perfect yet we still seek it. We keep holding ourselves back because of this unreachable desire.
We over-analyze our work until the life has been sucked out of it. And then we definitely don’t want to share it and so we start the cycle over again.
Fear
We’re afraid. Plain and simple. We overanalyze and overthink and hide behind our fancy deductive reasoning skills because we claim we’re not ready.
The thing is, we’re never ready.
We’re afraid of making the wrong choice so we choose nothing.
We’re afraid of rejection so we never put ourselves out there so we never see change or get what we actually want.
We’re afraid of uncertainty so we over-analyze and wait for the perfect moment to start.
Except you know there is no perfect moment. There is never going to be true certainty. And there will always be some fear involved. We’re humans. This is part of the deal.
But there is a way out of overthinking.
Mood Follows Action — How to Rewire Your Brain
You can’t think your way into change. You have to act.
You will not get through your fear until you take that first step.
Rich Roll talks about picking this up from his first sponsor from Alcoholics Anonymous.
“What he meant by that is you can’t think your way into the mood that you seek…Action is the only thing that can trigger that change-state.”
From a different interview with Rich:
“If you’re waiting until you feel like doing something chances are you’re probably never going to get to it.”
You cannot think your way into doing something.
You have to actually do something.
So what can you do?
Accept Uncertainty
There will never be a point in time when uncertainty won’t be lurking about. It’s part of life and the sooner you accept it, the easier it will be for you to move forward.
There’s only so much you control, and it’s an infinitesimal amount in the grand scheme of the universe. The rest is beyond you.
So be sure to take advantage of what’s in your control.
Get Out Of Your Head
Everyone under the sun has preached about exercise being able to change not just your body but your life.
And they’re right.
One of the reasons exercise has the power to change your life is because it gets you out of your head and into your body.
When you find yourself in a spiral of analysis, get moving. Go for a walk, find something to throw around, do some push-ups or some squats, or hold a plank. I promise that you will feel better. You can’t focus on something else when you’re in the middle of a plank.
Same thing with being outside. There’s a reason why people are always going on about how good they feel when they’re out in nature. Because it takes them out of their head and into their body. The sun and the wind and the scent of the forest. Feeling the sand under your feet and the breeze off the water. I’m feeling calmer just thinking about it. I bet you will too.
Challenge Your Thinking
Guess what?
Not all your thoughts are true.
And you don’t have to listen to them. You have the power — it’s within your control — to question your thoughts.
You have the power to become your own fact-checker and it’s your responsibility to filter your thoughts.
Picture your best friend. Would you tell her what you tell yourself? All the negative things you say to yourself in your head? You would never tell her what that voice says to you.
So why are you listening to that voice? Tell it, “Thank you. I know you’re trying to be helpful, but I don’t need this right now.” And see what happens. You won’t be any worse for it.
Do It Anyway
This is how I’ve approached everything. And it’s worked for me.
I know I’m going to be afraid. I can’t change that. But I can change what I do about it.
There are two options: do nothing or do something.
If mood follows action — and I promise you it does — then it’s the doing something that will get you closer to the results you want.
Two-Sentence Reminders
To summarize:
You can’t think your way out of anxiety.
You must act.There is always an element of uncertainty.
It’s not going anywhere so embrace it.Perfectionism does not exist.
Let go of it.You will always be afraid.
So do it anyway.
You can hang onto your old ways. But ask yourself:
Are these thoughts serving me?
Or is there something else I can do?
Leave a comment and let me know what you decided. This inquiring mind wants to know.