34ish Lessons on the Way to 34
Another trip around the sun has happened again
Somehow, today is my 34th birthday. While I still maintain that I know nothing, each year I like to reflect on what I have learned. Or, in a lot of cases, relearned. We're always learning and unlearning. It's worth taking the time to look at where we started and where we are. Birthdays are a good milestone to do that.
You're still probably not drinking enough water. Yes, you can have too much, but you're nowhere close to it.
Losing a parent is one of the toughest experiences we all go through. And we all go through it differently.
You can never have too many stuffed animals. And there is no age limit on this.
More information, more often than not, will not solve your problem. Action will.
Learning to play jazz well is hard.
America needs more trains and a better transit system in general. If we're serious about getting cars off the road and not completely destroying our home, this is the only solution.
You never know who you're inspiring so please share your work.
Ask yourself "why" more often than you think is necessary. If you want to get to the bottom of why you behave the way you do, then you have to go deeper than you initially care to.
There are worse addictions to have than book-buying. (I can barely walk past a bookstore without going in and coming out with a pile of new books.)
You will never regret cooking at home.
Dedicate time to listen to music. You will have a much more enriching experience with it if it's in the foreground.
It will never be easy to go outside of your comfort zone. I'm about to start a two-year master's program for jazz. It's already kicking my butt. I have days where I think, "Oh my god why did I sign up for this? It's so hard!" And then I remember that this is for growth, meeting new people, and discovering new opportunities and perspectives and everything else that comes with a new endeavor.
Slower is often harder than faster. This is true with lifting and practicing music. And I'm sure it's true with other stuff. Actually I know it is. It's much harder to sail a boat slowly than it is when you have a strong wind.
Spend as much time as you can around the people you love the most.
You probably don't need to spend as much time as you are scrolling through social media.
Choose pursuits that allow you to play the infinite game. If the game you're playing isn't infinite, find a new game.
Reread books. You're not the same person you were the first time you read that book and you will get to experience something you love in a different way.
The more you respect yourself, the less you will tolerate poor behavior from others.
You don't have to answer the phone if you don't want to.
Derek Sivers once said he'd put a billboard outside of a mall that says "It won't make you happy." I think about this whenever I'm surrounded by retail because it won't make me happy. And it won't make you happy.
Retail therapy, once in a while, is enjoyable. But generally you come home and think "Why did I buy this again?"
Adaptability is the secret of success.
Federer, Nadal, and Djokovic all approached tennis very differently. What works for one person might not be the best approach for another.
Going for a walk is always a good idea.
For the motorcycle riders out there: a helmet will save your life. Please wear one.
Ask more questions. And ask more questions of yourself.
Be a bit kinder and more patient than you think you need to be for a more peaceful life.
Not everyone has the same goals as you do. In fact, I bet most people have different goals even if they say they want the same thing. Some actors want to be movie stars. Some actors want to be in the theater. They all say they want to be actors, but what that means is personal.
I wish I realized this sooner. I went to music school and thought everyone there wanted what I wanted. No. They didn't. And if I had realized that at 18, I think I would have been less stressed.
Relationships without boundaries lead to misery for all parties involved.
It's never too late to do what you really want to do and become the person you're meant to become. You have agency. (if you're reading this, you have even more agency than you realize.)
Oftentimes, the most famous person in a field is not the best person to teach you how to become the best in that same field. Michael Jordan wouldn't do well as a coach. Don't conflate incredible skill with incredible teaching/coaching skill. They are very different.
We live in an age where we can share anything. Keep some things - and some of you - for yourself.
Grab the low-hanging fruit. It will help you climb the branches to the high-hanging fruit.
Mother Teresa said, "Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you.” And who's nearer to you than you? It's like that cliche about oxygen masks. Take care of yourself so you can take care of those around you.
It's all invented. So invent frameworks that light you up.
Thank you for being here! If you have any favorite lessons, let me know in the comments. :)
Until next time, keep on growing.
Yours,
Amy
I agree with all of these! I have re-read many books over my life and always have different perspectives- especially on Catcher in the Rye. I read Pride and Prejudice every year and always have a different take on it, I'm looking forward to reading it again this year especially because of a meme I just saw about it.
"You don't have to answer the phone if you don't want to."
I was raised by a father who, when he got mad at something we kids did, would say "you answer a question when it is asked of you!" and then I became a teacher, where I believed that every kid's question was an expression of curiosity that I wanted to fulfill.
So answering the phone...it's a call of curiosity.
and it took me decades to understand that I could choose WHEN to answer the call of curiosity.
*my father is one to always answer the phone. I once called him recently, and he was up a tree harvesting his grapefruits. The man is 80 years old, and he still climbs trees and answers the phone while he's up there. what did I say to him when he told me what he was doing? "Dad, you don't have to answer the phone every time it rings. you can always call me back at a more convenient time for you."